The in-between

Aug 12th, 2015 5 min read

At this point, it should come as no surprise that half of my clothes are too large while the other half remain too small. I call it the in-between. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. It’s not exactly a bad problem to have, and honestly it’s one of my own making. I refuse to buy clothes that I hopefully will shrink out of sooner…

If I fits, I sits

Aug 5th, 2015 3 min read

I’ve never been a fan of flying. I don’t have a phobia, exactly, but I’m not completely at ease either. Particularly if there’s turbulence. It’s not like I scream, “We’re going to die!” Not out loud, at least. But that’s certainly what’s echoing in my head. And by now, you’re probably getting an idea how my head works. My dislike of flying intensified as I…

The face of bravery

Jul 28th, 2015 3 min read

Several people in the past few weeks have called me brave. I am honored and humbled that they think so. But I have seen the face of bravery it’s not the one looking back at me from the mirror. It’s the one at the top of this page. Her name is Ann. She is 92 years old. A 24-year-old man entered her home as she…

Golden repair

Jul 22nd, 2015 4 min read

When I clicked the live button on my blog last week, I had no idea what to expect … or what I was unleashing. People have used words like “brave” and “inspiring,” but what I wrote was for me … to slay one of my inner demons. Perhaps the most evil of the horde. I feel like I’ve experienced every possible emotion this week, and in combinations that never…

Becoming invisible

Jul 14th, 2015 4 min read

I’ve said before that fat people are weirdly invisible. It’s true. For me, I think on some level I wanted — needed — to be invisible, particularly to men. While I did not deliberately set out to gain weight and become invisible, I think my subconscious led the charge to protect me from a past that I couldn’t let go of and didn’t know how…

I’ve finally set an actual goal

Jul 7th, 2015 2 min read

On the eve of my seven-week weigh-in, I’ve decided it’s high time I bite the bullet and do something I should have done way back when. Set a goal. Up until now, I have not done that. I mean aside from the obvious — lose weight. Even on my intake forms for Scottsdale Weight Loss Center, I left the questions about desired weight and OK…

What the heck am I doing?

Jul 1st, 2015 7 min read

So, I’ve told you that I’m going to Scottsdale Weight Loss Center and I’ve explained why (as best I can), but I haven’t talked about what it entails. What exactly is the program? SWLC takes a multipronged approach to weight loss. Their goal is to help me get the weight off as fast as safely possible and then keep it off. The base program is…

I kind of want to scream right now

Jun 29th, 2015 4 min read

So this is me screaming. At the top of my lungs. Out of sheer frustration. <rant> I’ve been going to SWLC for nearly six weeks now. Six weeks on Tuesday. I’ve lost a smidge more than 21 pounds as of last week’s weigh-in. And I. Can’t. See it. Anywhere. It’s not like I expected to be transformed by now. OK, maybe I did, but I…

Why now?

Jun 24th, 2015 4 min read

My struggle with my weight is not a recent thing. It goes back as far as I can remember. I’ve never been what you would call thin. Looking back to high school and college, however, I can see that I wasn’t as big as I thought I was at the time. That’s not to say I wasn’t plus-size. I was. It was just a more…

Cake in the newsroom … CHOCOLATE CAKE!

Jun 22nd, 2015 1 min read

Danger, Will Robinson! I never actually watched “Lost in Space,” but the reference still seems appropriate. I’m pretending really hard that that yummy-looking chocolate cake with the gorgeous strawberry on top does not exist, treating myself instead to one piece of sugar-free hard candy (roughly 10 calories). Somehow it’s not quite the same. The struggle is real…