I faced Tanita for a moment of truth on Thursday, and as I expected, it wasn’t pretty. But it wasn’t soul-shattering either. Tanita is a straightforward bitch. Always brutally honest. She never sugarcoats things, but she’s not mean either. That’s probably because she’s electronic and cannot sneer in disgust. But I like to think she wouldn’t if she could.

Yes, I’m stalling. Here goes. (Deep breath)

I gained back 19.5 pounds.

So now the truth is out, and as much as it depresses me, I am going to point out four positives here. (I’m trying, people!)

  1. It’s less than 20 pounds. (Barely, but it still totally counts.)
  2. It’s less than half of what I lost, so I am still ahead in the long run.
  3. I’m still down a total of 22.5 pounds. That’s no small thing! It’s not where I hoped to be after a year, but still pretty good.
  4. I am almost halfway to my current goal and should be in a solid position to nail it.

So, here’s where I stand. (Notice my progress bar does not like halves and rounds down the numbers it shows. Boohiss! The percentage is right, though, so I’m not too annoyed.)

41.18%  21 of 51


And now I’m going to stop and leave this Facebook post from Gabby Bass right here.

Failure work in progress

‘Nuff said, right? Thank you for the words of infinite wisdom, Queen Gabby. As you can see, she posted this more than a week ago. I saved it to remind myself that I am a work in progress and failures are just part of living.

Putting on my big girls pants (take that how you will) and moving on. Sort of.

One of the biggest struggles I’ve had with this whole weight loss thing is that I never really saw a difference in myself. Other people said they saw major changes. But to me, I just looked like me.

It didn’t help that my clothes basically still fit, even when I was 42 pounds down. Sure they were a smidge loose. But only a smidge. It’s not like I was doing the supper baggy waistband-around-my-ass/show-off-my-underwear thing that so many guys do — voluntarily. (Here’s a hint guys: That’s not sexy unless you’re Channing Tatum or Zac Efron. And even then it’s questionable at best.)

You’d think at minus 42 pounds, I’d have gone down a size, at least. Right? Nope. My current clothes always fit and the next size down was too small.

Now they are in a slightly tight phase, but not unwearably so. I seem to be yo-yoing within a single size.

Talk about frustrating! (Argh!! *@$%*)

It makes it really difficult to gauge progress and anti-progress.

Dear Body,
Work with me. Please? Help me help you.
We good?

<3, Me

Until next time…