If we’re Facebook friends, you probably noticed this little equation on my page a couple of weeks ago.

SMART GoalsYes, I have set another goal. I was having trouble coming up with something meaningful so I looked at what I did last year.

I wanted to lose 42 pound by my 42 birthday. I thought about doing 43 by 43, but having been there, done that, the idea wasn’t really appealing to me, especially considering how much I’ve been struggling in recent months.

So I decided to take last year’s goal and build on it.

Hence newGoal = originalGoal + 5.

When I say originalGoal, I mean I want to get back to where I was when I turned 42. That’s 42 pounds from my original albeit undisclosed original weight.

The +5 is exactly what it sounds like. So when I turn 43 in late September I want to be down 47 pounds from where I was when I started at SWLC last May.

Wait. 47 is an odd number that doesn’t end in 5. My mild-to-moderate OCD (which, unfortunately, does not involve cleaning) cannot handle that without a good reason.

-48That means the equation should be newGoal = originalGoal + 6. (Let me just point out that I could have satisfied my need for an even number by going down to 4. But I didn’t. I went up to 6. Am I ambitious or what?)

My reasoning for newGoal is simple. At least I think it is.

First, it’s building on my initial goal — the one I hit.

Second, this will force me to acknowledge exactly how much weight I allowed myself to gain back. While I have a general idea, I do not know the exact number. God’s honest truth.

I haven’t been to SWLC for a few of weeks — not since I accidentally blew off an appointment. #Oops.

Because that was not at all like me, I thought it might be my subconscious trying to tell me something. That in mind, I decided to give myself a little time off from the weekly appointments to get my head together.

Head together or not — most likely not — I will face Tanita once again on June 16. I will know exactly where I am and how far I have to go. And when I know, you’ll know.

I still haven’t found the match (or other fire source) to light the fire under my ass, so I guess I’m going to have go about this the old-fashioned. Sheer force of will.

*Deep breath* Bring it on…

And by the way…

Yes. Yes, I do…